In a world where remakes are the rule, not-shaving for a week makes you as scary as David Hess. Judging by the photos, the new version of "Last House on the Left" is about a bunch of Williamsburg hipsters who embark on a lustful rampage of rape and murder after imbibing too many Pabst Blue Ribbons at a loft party. For the love of Deity, people! The female heavy is wearing fashion overalls.
Let's face it--what we all *really* want to know is who's filling Martin Kove's shoes as the bumbling, comedic deputy. I'm on the edge of my seat. Believe that, meine Freunde.
9 comments:
Oh, fucking gag me.
Rule Numero Uno: you could dump a bucket of motor oil on that lead actor and knock out half his teeth and he STILL wouldn't be even half a percent as creepy as David Hess. I'm just sayin'.
What happened to the good old days of sequelizing everything? I can totally envision "Last House on the Left II" where everyone gets a flashback like "Hills Have Eyes II" (the first one). Oh wait--it would just be a movie with the parents and the bumbling deputy, which is a little more like an underachieving version of a "Cannonball Run" movie.
Which... arguably... might still be a better idea than remaking "Last House on the Left."
after imbibing too many Pabst Blue Ribbons at a loft party
I would have said Red Stripe but I'm in general agreement.
What's funny is that David Hess is currently doing a production of Sweeney Todd!
David Hess as "Sweeney Todd"--I like this! But will he be kitted out as Dave Vanian?
I refuse to be afraid of some eurodouche with myspace hair.
"Piss your pants! But don't get any on my totally sweet John Varvatos combat boots."
I want to find out where the producers of this remake live and force them to (re)make it with each other.
I am really hoping they don't screw this one one. I have no faith in them though. Maybe it won't be too bad, but I'm not getting my hopes though.
Rogue Spy--I agree in that my hopes aren't up. Although, with my hopes as low as they are, it would be kind of easy to exceed them!
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