Ohhhh "House on Straw Hill," you had so much potential, but ultimately you left me unsatisfied. This 1976 British thriller starring Udo Kier had so many opportunities for awesomeness and yet wound up committing the ultimate sin by being undeniably boring. It's hard to imagine that an erotic thriller featuring good-looking women, mysterious intrigue, a brooding German, brutal murders and several kink-laced sex scenes would be a yawn-fest. This film is another to bear the infamous "Video Nasty" moniker, and yet I feel like the nastiest trick is played on its audience. Somehow, this movie achieves the dubious distinction of playing like an overlong, vintage episode of "Silk Stalkings."
"House on Straw Hill" traces the story of novelist Paul Martin (Udo Kier), who has holed himself up in a remote countryside house in order to finish the follow-up to his blockbuster first novel. His isolation has caused him to become increasingly paranoid and his writing has stalled. Enter Linda (Linda Hayden), an alluring blonde who comes to the house to work as his typist and secretary. Strange and violent events begin to happen and Paul is drawn into an obsessive web of deceit that seems to center around Linda.
It's a damn shame this movie is such a mess, because the plot has potential and Kier and Hayden are both capable actors. Somewhere along the line, what could have been a taut mystery with a limited cast in a creepy setting just became a silly trainwreck, lightened only by the presence of some much-needed sexiness in the last quarter of the film. Elements of revenge and madness are just plain mishandled in favor of long scenes of people looking at each other and getting pissy with one another. The Paul Martin character could have been developed into a complicated mix of megalomaniac and paranoiac, but instead he comes off as a bit of a whiner, and when the final plot twist is revealed, it seems fairly obvious! Also--and this is just a personal thing--but it drives me a little crazy when an actor with as distinctive a speaking voice as Udo Kier's gets overdubbed. What a waste of a wonderfully sinister accent!
In the final analysis, "House on Straw Hill" is the sort of movie that is frustrating because it's not hard to glimpse what could have been successful had the material not been so woefully mishandled.
10 comments:
ouch, brutal! and the poster was so luridly promising!
I think there must be some law of physics about Second Novel Stories. These abound, but think about it: No-one would begin to write a Second Novel plot unless they were severely blocked in the first place. (I did like "Wonder Boys," but that was all about severely mocking the authorial washup at the heart of the Writer's Block plot. Plus it had Robert Downey Jr. breaking gay.)
Sounds like a similar experience to mine with "Satan's Baby Doll." On paper it sounds so awesome, but in execution, something just doesn't connect.
As to Udo's voice, I agree (of course) but probably in 76 people weren't as advanced as we in the appreciation of Eurosleaze legends. Udo gets a lot of work these days, and NOBODY would think of dubbing him. Of course he gets work in feardotcom.com and that "Cigarette Burns" episode, but hey, you gotta make a living, and based on his past heights he's earned it.
I agree with flightless too--I think authors pour their souls into their first novel, like you sometimes see directors pulling out all the stops in their first movies--the idea being, "This may be my only shot!" Then when it succeeds and they have to come up with ANOTHER story, having drained themselves creatively...well, "Write What You Know." :)
Great write-up. This film did hold a lot of promise. I had high hopes for it. I didn't care for it myself. It was so boring, stupid, and sloppily made. It was all I could do to finish it. I did love the poster and the cast. Just wish this had been a better movie. It's a shame.
Flightless--glad I could save you ninety-some-odd irreplaceable minutes of your lovely life :) As for RDJ--I won't fib to Mister Darkness if you need some "Iron Man" related Alone Time...
Vicar--I'm sure you've had AMPLE experience with this sort of thing! It's so frustrating. But I think both of us seek out movies that are *just* this side of being unwatchable. It's a risk we run! As to Udo... I'm a completist. Saw "Feardotcom" all the way through. *sigh* They wasted Steven Rea in that one, too! SINFUL, sez me.
Rogue Spy--"boring, stupid, and sloppily made": I agree completely! Damn shame... Let's hope tonight's movie is better. Say a prayer, brave internet warrior.
The Farrah Fawcett hair detracts from Udo's beauty only slightly. And, I totally remember Silk Stalkings. No matter how much direct pressure I apply to my brain with the curling iron, those memories keep on *not* going away.
Darling Kitty, in the world of Udo Worship, one must persevere against bad hair ("Story of O," anyone? Seriously, now...) and occasional bouts of orangeness ("Mark of the Devil") to see through to the angular, creepysexy goodness beneath. But yes... that hair was pretty specifically bad :/
I don't remember House on Straw Hill being that bad, been a few decades since I saw it though so possibly the combination of me being a teenager back then mixed with Linda Hayden hotness = blurred memory vision. Or wait, was that Baby Love? Getting sweaty in here...
'long scenes of people looking at each other and getting pissy with one another'
This wasn't 'Jane Austen's House on Straw Hill' was it?
Karswell--Admittedly, Linda Hayden had some moments of scorchy hottness. Her eyemakeup also achieved the Tenebrous Seal of Approval.
OCKerouac--You're coming dangerously close to winning this thread...! Well-played.
The film that introduced me to the great god sir Udo of Kier....and for that i will always be grateful.
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