Sister Emanuelle [1977]

Allow me to state for the record that there's no 'sploitation like Nunsploitation (except for maybe Nazisploitation, but that's not relevant to the film at hand). At least in theory this is the case, but many Nunsploitation films are a little over-long on melodramatic dialogue and hella-questionable theology*.

Thank heavens (or something) for "Sister Emanuelle," Giuseppi Vari's 1977 entry into the "Black Emanuelle" series of films. One of the lovely things about the "BE" movies is that they are unapologetically lurid--so chock-full of nudity is "Sister Emanuelle" that I am unable to set up a suitable set of screen caps on Flickr lest my entire account get yanked for Smut Peddling. Now, granted, the Nunthusiast in me objects to the fact that Emanuelle is the *only* hott nun in the entire film, but I'm not going to complain too loudly. I'll just sit here and be content with the fact that this film is wall-to-wall sex from beginning to end, even if they don't all revolve around nuns.

The story begins with Emanuelle (played by She of the Amazing Cheekbones Laura Gemser) escorting Monica (Monica Zanchi), the daughter of a wealthy Venetian family, to a convent school where the teen will hopefully unlearn her worldly ways. Emanuelle has renounced her life of decadance and taken up the Lord's Work somewhere between the beginning of this film and the end of the last one, but her exposure to the shameless and sensuous Monica begins to test her resolve. Within the first ten minutes, we've learned that Monica is allergic to clothing and enjoys canoodling with her stepmom (and by "canoodling with," I mean "fucking"--we get to see this later in a scene that CRIMINALLY leaves the Banana Footage [use your imagination, internet] for the deleted scenes). Life at the convent school does not slow our young sinner; in fact, she manages to engage in some new tricks. Included in Monica's schoolgirl pastimes are tricking virginal young women into sex ("I'm so frightened by this thunderstorm--let me lie with you") and partaking in sex romps with an escaped convict (Gabriele Tinti, aber natürlich) that she's hiding in the tower of the school. Seriously, this girl is a Eurotrash over-achiever. Gold star, Monica!

The actually-pretty-thin plot revolves around Monica's continued efforts to tempt Emanuelle from the straight and narrow. Predictably, Emanuelle does indeed stray... With Sexy Results. Let's not mince words--everything in this movie leads to Sexy Results. That's just how an Emanuelle movie rolls, people. Is there a porny soundtrack? You bet! Are there extended scenes of Emanuelle doffing her nun's habit? But of course! Look elsewhere for surprises, but if you'd like to be titillated by a softcore treat with lucious female nudity, you're in the correct spot.

*My favorite questionable theological statements are in Japan's "School of the Holy Beast," which is so pervalicious that it's a stong contender for Best Nunsploitationer Ever. So... wait a second... why am I not writing about that movie..?