Gal pals Anna and Françoise are vacationing in the French countryside when they decide to stop in a remote village (as you do, if you wish to forward the plot). The village is sorta-inexplicably populated entirely by creepy old men, and the owner of the inn where the girls have a quick glass of mulled wine warns them not to stop there. Too late, pal! The lovely ladies have already been spotted by Morgana's leering gnome henchman Gurth and pegged as potential Girl Slaves.
Before you can say "I'm shy but I feel really close to you," the girls run out of gas and are forced--FORCED--to spend the night making out in a handy barn. Françoise wakes up the next morning to find herself alone. Handily, she is escorted through the woods by Gurth only to find herself on a magic boat to Sexy Results-Ville.
I'll be honest with you guys--this is not a thrill-a-minute titillator of a film. It's French, and as such it feels French and looks French. It's languorously-paced but absolutely gorgeous with a visual softness that underscores the femininity of the cast members (even Gurth sports eyeliner that would make Peter Murphy weep bloody tears of envy). The movie is a fantasy-land of gauze, furs, and weathered surfaces. Oh--and gorgeous Eurobabes. Many, many gorgeous Eurobabes.
Let's back up for a moment and reflect on the AWESOMENESS that is Gurth. Played by actor Alfred Baillou with lotsa mugging and contorting zeal, Gurth is one of the most sexually-frustrated little people in cinema history, making Hans from "Freaks" look like Dolemite. He's way hung up on Morgana, but she's not buying what he's selling IYKWIMAITYD. He spends his days issuing threatening soliloquies to his mirror and ordering Morgana's girls to make out in front of him. Maybe I'm too benevolent a ruler, but I'd at least hook Gurn up with a little-person wifey or two to take the edge off. He's not such a bad guy underneath all the leering and pantaloons and stuff.
Morgana and her girls spend much of their time administering makeovers, drinking colorful booze, smoking exotic things, and making out, which makes Françoise's repeated refusals to sign onto this lifestyle all the more perplexing. If she doesn't sign on, she's consigned to grow old and die. I mean, there's not even the American subtext of being skeered of girltouching--she's made her Desire For Said pretty damn clear at the beginning of the movie. It's refreshing that, after escaping from Morgana's clutches by stealing a magic necklace and negligee, Françoise wises the fuck up and--much as if Dorothy clicked her ruby slippers and chanted "there's noplace like Lesbos"--summons Morgana who whisks her away to the land of diaphanous-gowned slumber parties and body shots.
Yeah, I'm doing the Happy Dance too, girls.
Enjoy a Flickr gallery of stills from "Girl Slaves of Morgana le Fay."
13 comments:
Morgana le Fay's chateau sounds like the lesbian version of Valhalla.
Also, I am loving the fact that she has a name straight from Arthurian legend. Do they address that at all? I like to think that Morgana got fed up with chasing after Arthur and said, "Screw this, I'm batting for the other team from now on. Hmm, I wonder if I can trick Guinevere into tipping the velvet..."
This movie is ALL about the diaphanous gowns, which means that it's made of gobs and gobs of gauzy, gossamer awesome. (Say that a few times fast--you'll need the tongue exercise, IYKWIM.)
As you rightly point out, it's...shall we say "leisurely" in pace, but since the whole raison d'etre is to look at gorgeous babes in gorgeous outfits amid gorgeous sets, do you really WANT to rush things? It's not a horror flick at all, more a fantasy set-piece that goes on for 1 1/2 hours...or like one of the Vicar's favorite happy dreams.
You've got to feel bad for Gurth, though. First of all, he's a little person in an age when such was viewed as monstrous rather than awesome. Second of all, his name is GURTH. Third of all, he's trapped in a castle that's wall-to-wall fur, silk, and Euroflesh, and none of them are into dudes. You can tell he's TRYING to make allowances with his velvet pantaloons and green eyeshadow, but nothin' doing. Hey, maybe the name "GURTH" is a nickname, occasioned by his doubtless terminal state of priapism. Talk about a CURSE.
Beautiful flick, though. I would like to have it playing on the 175" flatscreen that makes up the side wall of the Duke's romper room while he's having one of his infamous hookah-smoking backgammon orgies. Ambiance is important.
I've been looking for something besides WIP movies lately. This sounds cool. I'll definitely have to see if I can check it out at some point. I love the shots from it. Thanks for the great write-up.
Jack--lesbian Valhalla... yeah, pretty much. Instead of fighting and sides of beef, it's all about effeminite drinks and interpretive dance. They don't address the Arthurian stuff at all! Other than the innkeeper, the guests at the inn bar and Gurth, there are no men at all in the universe of this film. The DVD box mentions Merlin, but the film--nada.
Vicar--I figured you'd have seen this, what with your Proclivities :) I recommend back-to-backing this with "Behind Convent Walls" for ambience purposes. I will also mention that IKWYM WRT Tongue Exercises. I'll... be in my bunk.
King--I hope you dig the movie! Just don't get too disappointed in the lack of flogging and rassling. I know I wasn't, anyway.
A character from the Arthurian legend, a nod to the Marquis de Sade, an allusion to Sappho and a quote from Baudelaire: this one definitely sounds interesting. This is also the second time I've heard Baudelaire's name come up this week(he appeared as an answer/question on Jeopardy!, although it seemed that the 3 contestants were unfamiliar with Les Fleurs du Mal). As for Gurth, maybe he is what became of Merlin after he was defeated by Morgana le Fay? And this raises the question that, if a straight woman who hangs with gay men is referred to pejoratively as a "fag hag", then what do you call a straight man who hangs out with lesbians? Gurth?
Fred--I never thought of the Gurth subtext. My brain was muddied by all the prettiness. Wow--you are on point this AM, sir! As to the lesbian equivalent of a "fag hag," it looks like it's "dyke tyke," which... I don't dig at all. I've always been partial to "fruit fly" ;)
Thanks for the link to the wikipedia article. I think I like "lesbro" the best since
"dyke tyke" is very infantilizing (it sounds like a cheap toy on sale at KB) and "fruit flies" are just really annoying insects.
I too found this a bit slow-going, but it's certainly visually (ahem) stimulating. GIRL SLAVES has much going for it, but nobody does this type of movie better than Jean Rollin. Great review!
Fred--Lesbro it is! SO MOTE IT BE. A way better choice than "Gurth," that much is for darn sure :)
Headless--Rollin... oooooh how I love Rollin. You are reminding me of my much-neglected need to write up one of his films. I admire the hell out of him as an artist. Also--hott chix for the bonus-win!
Can someone please remake this as the "Girl Slaves of MORGANA THE KISSING BANDIT"?
No?
Oh, ok.
Aunt John, I had to click your wiki (ooo errrr) and... well...
>>Her claim to fame is her kissing chutzpah and her large breasts
This is why American is the best country EVER. "Kissing chutzpah? Big boobs? APPROVED for fame!"
"dyke tyke"
I always heard it as "dyke daddy" but maybe I've just been brainwashed by the patriarchy.
Also, I have been searching for one of those diaphanous gowns (really) for ages. Maybe I have to go to France...
Mme Arkham--yeah, I call BULLSHIT on that one. Also, wishful thinking: "Who's your daddy?" and all that.
At least you know how to get one of those gowns now.
Step 1: Get kidnapped by fairy queen
Step 2: Sell soul for life of beauty and luxury
Step 3: ALL THE GOWNS YOU WANT :D
Let's go to France. IMMEDIATELY.
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