It's come to my attention that some of you are rather conflicted with regards to the relative fapworthiness of Tom Cruise's portrayal of Colonel Claus von Stauffenberg in the upcoming WWII espionage film "Valkyrie." As something of an expert on the matter of sexy-but-evil characters of a Third Reich nature, I've composed what I hope will be a helpful decision-making flowchart to guide you through this important self-abuse decision in a thoughtful and responsible manner.
To summarize--it's acceptable to fantasize to sticky completion over Tom Cruise's character in "Valkyrie" because of the eyepatch. After some consideration, I've decided to rank the eyepatch above the fact that the actor in question is a Scientologist. Were it not for the eyepatch, wanking over this character would not be permitted.
I now return you to your regularly scheduled Internet.