I've always said that if Christmas was more like Halloween, I'd be way more into that holiday.
Leave it to those wacky Bavarians to come up with something as AWESOME as Krampusnacht! Saint Nick's flogging demon sidekick, the Krampus, comes out once a year on December 5th and scares the bejeezus out of misbehaving children, thus making the winter holiday season about a THOUSAND PERCENT more sinister. Fuck handing out lumps of coal--we need to get on top of this whole "monsters whacking bad kids with switches" thing.
Seriously--check out this gallery of Krampus costumes from Germany and bask in their ghoulish excellence.
11 comments:
Krampuses(Krampi?)get to spank women!? talk about the ultimate seasonal part-time job! we NEED to import this tradition!
my friend's dad grew up in a small village in Deutschland. he told us all about this. he's like 80 years old now and he's still a bit emotionally scarred.
in his village they let the oldest unmarried (bitter) guy dress up and beat the kids. he was usually pretty drunk too.
I have a new way to scare my children now! Thanks for the post.
Prof. Grewbeard, I think the Krampus only gets *better* upon more contemplation. Why are we not doing this in the US right now?! I'm telling you--the Tenebrous Empire is *all about* Krampus.
When Is Evil Cool--do you think they'd let a mean-spirited, unmarried American woman take over Krampus duties in case of a shortage? Hmmmm.... I'm glad to hear the holiday involves drinking, too. Between that, the scaring, and the spanking, I'm beginning to think this actually starts to *compete* with the awesomeness that is Halloween.
You are *so* welcome, Headless! Be sure to check in with a firsthand accounting of any trauma you manage to inflict on your family :)
My grandmother grew-up in the tiny German enclave that was St. Henry, Ohio in the early part of the 20th-century. She used to tell me about the "Black Santa" that would come and beat the bad little children. I found that horrifying and would have never recovered from such an encounter as a child.
Apparently she never did as this was the same grandmother who would periodically turn into a werewolf while I was sittng on her lap and who used to tell me there were skunks under the bed.
One night she told me a tale of the Perfect Grandmother who would sacrifice her life for her little grandson. When I asked her if she would do that for me she replied: "You just never know what you'll do until the time comes."
Periodically we would (at her instigation) attempt dismemberment of the aunt I was jealous of with a (butter) knife til she bled (ketchup), my grandmother suggesting we wrap her in aluminum foil and "put her on the Seaburger's doorstep".
God, I miss that old broad.
Sort of like the oh-so-politically-incorrect, Black Pete.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Zwarte_Piet
This has to become a tradition in the states, like now.
They don't mess around w/those masks do they? Very cool.
The Krampus got a HUGE cloven-hooved leg up in America when he put in his guest appearance in the Venture Bros. christmas special. Now where those guys heard of him ...?
Awesome post, TK! In my internet search for the Krampus I found a cool site that makes Krampus ornaments, figures, and plushies!
Check out Xmas with Krampus!
Finally my tree will have a little more awesome this year.
Brian, those are some seriously heartwarming-slash-incredibly-grisly family memories! Your grandma sounds like quite an amazing lady indeed.
Pax--yep! The Krampus is definitely in this tradition. Check out this page for more of Santa's not-so-nice helpers, including a demonic butcher who chopped up little kids! YIKES!
Rev. Phantom, those masks are something, right? That would be serious nightmare fodder for any kid.
Jake--you're right! Krampus did appear in the "Venture Brothers" Xmas. Those dudes are clued into everything cool--or at least that's *my* theory.
HOLY COW Mr. C! What an amazing store! Double plus bonus points for the fact that there's an apparent voodoo tie-in--the CD single is by a band called LES BARONS. Oh wow--Christmas did just get awesome, didn't it?!
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