I can honestly say that "Counter Destroyer" is the best DVD I have ever purchased from my grocery store. I'm not generally distracted by the bins of discount DVDs because of tragic unkept promises of amazingness from that source in the past. However, a double-bill of Far Eastern Wackiness was more than I could resist. Maybe I was just suffering from a moment of vulnerability brought on by the fact that my favorite ice cream sandwiches were out of stock, but I decided to give the double-bill of "Counter Destroyer" and "Magic of the Universe" a try. What did I have to lose except for two ninety minute chunks of time and three dollars? Nothing, meine freunde--that's what.
Let's begin by discussing what "Counter Destroyer" is not about:
- Counters being destroyed
- Anything that makes sense
Let's move on to discuss what the movie does include:
- Hopping vampires
- Ninjas (both good and bad)
- Zombie with exploding footprints
- Magical priest
- Hard-boiled female private investigator
- A guy in an outrageous robot costume
You need to know nothing more about this movie in order to want to see it, right? That's what I thought.
For those of you who are traditionalists and require some kind of plot outline, I think the movie is about a woman who retires to an abandoned villa in order to write a screenplay about the Last Emperor of China and angers the spirits who then attack and attempt to possess her. There is a sorta-dovetailing plot about the producers of this same film who are working against evil probably-gangsters that are trying to bring their own movie on the same topic to market first. In Asia, you are apparently allowed to have lady private eyes assassinate your competitors with crossbows in order to secure your Droit de seigneur on a sensational biopic. Who knew!
The movie also has some of the Most Hilarious Dubbing Ever. Really--it's gooooood stuff. It seems as if two guys and one woman sat around and dubbed the whole thing by themselves, putting on more and more outrageous accents as the character list developed. "Help--I'm running out of voices! The only one I have left for the tough gangster is Bert from 'Sesame Street.' I'm just going to have to roll with this..."
What a mess. What a beautiful, tapped-to-the-cerebral-cortex-with-a-small-hammer mess...
Really, there's no better way to fall in love with "Counter Destroyer" than to just see a clip for yourself. Please accept this offering of You Tube clip goodness, internet: