I'd like to think that we can all learn lessons from the generations that preceded us. Sure, we're in what looks to be pretty dire economic straits, but cheer up, friends! This is far from unprecedented. Let's take a lesson from the Weimar Republic and start making some kinky lemonade out of all those sour citrusy fruits that are piling up on our collective doorstep.
Sure, the currency was worth virtually nothing and a not-insignificant portion of the population resorted to prostitution and petty crime in order to make ends meet, and there's that whole "looming specter of fascism" thing, but there's a silver lining to all this. Far-out cabaret performances and face-meltingly excellent fashion combined with a public thirst for kink and acting-out that seems to be pretty much without parallel. As a would-be despot, these are cultural qualities I'd like to see us start to embrace.
The Teutonic zeal for order was applied to the cult of esoteric sex, resulting in a bizarrely codified underworld-as-pop-culture zeitgeist. When German efficiency is applied to sex-for-sale, the concept of the Boot Girl is born--these street dominatrices advertised their services through the color of their patent-leather boots. I can imagine situations in which being ill-versed in that particular hanky code might result in embarrassment, to say nothing of the potential for grievous personal injury.
Let's cut to the chase--if my world is going to hell in a handbasket, I want monocles, fancy footwear, spankings, endless nights of weird parties and tropical pets to compensate for my troubles, and I want them NOW. Barring that, I'll just hole up in my apartment and re-read Feral House's superb pictorial histories, Mel Gordon's "Voluptuous Panic" and Barbara Ulrich's "Hot Girls of Weimar Berlin" and do my best to ignore the outside world.





12 comments:
Yes, this does alleviate my mood!
We could definitely use an America as imagined by Eric Stanton for a while. Wouldn't you love to see a gang of women string Chris Brown up in a way that is only appealing to an observer :-)
Now that you mention it, Kate,I've had a sneaking suspicion that Dr. Mabuse may have been running things here for a while, so what you recommend may be the appropriate response to his insidious mind control -- unless you are Mabuse! But perhaps I am, or am I Caligari? It's hard to keep track, sometimes.
Ein Zang! :)
Prof. Jack, you know I always have your best interests in mind! I'm good like that.
I agree with your extraordinarily-well-phrased ideas ENTIRELY, Darius. You're definitely getting a title in the Tenebrous Empire. I just have to come up with something catchy.
Samuel, I sometimes wonder who would win in a fight between Fantomas and Dr. Mabuse.
Your best interests are in mind as well, Vicar. You are very welcome!
Your posts just get better and better. I've sent a Premio Dardos award your way:
http://headlesswerewolf.blogspot.com/2009/03/earning-some-love.html
I wonder if we can get a deal on a truckful of these.
All that gorgeous voluptuousness prematurely wiped-out by a bunch of murderous boy scouts...Jesus weeps thinking of the unplumbed pleasures.
@joanarkham - I would so show up at work wearing that, if I didn't have to pass a military checkpoint to get there.
When I clicked Joan's link, at first I read it as "Italian Villain Disguise Kit." Which still works.
I must be losing brain cells. The other day I saw a commercial for "Make Me a Supermodel," and read it as "Make Mine a Sperm-O-Del." Which confused me mightily, but made me want to watch the show. ;)
Thank you, Headless! I'm blushing over here :D
Ms. Arkham--OMG YEAH!!! Barring that, I have sharpie markers and a PLAN. I'm really good at painting on moustaches (as you know).
Hear hear, Brian--you said it.
>>Make Mine a Sperm-O-Del
OK, Vicar--you win. I laughed so hard at this I fear I've aroused the suspicions of my workplace overlords! I'm going to be contemplating this like a zen koan all damn day now. Thanks for that ;)
Sperm-O-Del could be a crossover between The Simple Life and Rock of Love.
Word verification: fredist
Member of a post-Church of the Subgenius faith which believe Bob is truly a prophet, but Fred is the one of the true path.
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