Tenebrous Facts by Decree of Nerdliness

Much like H. Rider Haggard's Ayesha, my will is powerful and unbendable by mere mortals.  However, I like to think of myself as a benevolent ruler, and when an appropriately flattering request is made of me, I try my best to play nicely with others.  There is no way on this earth or any other that I'm going to be sharing twenty-five facts about myself, per the phrasing of the inexplicably popular meme that's been making the social-networking rounds, but I certainly have time for six, especially when the request is made by interpal and Official Tenebrous Prison Guard Darius Whiteplume (he brings the nekkidity over on Dirty & Nerdy so it only seems fair to acquiesce to such a modest meme).

Here are the rules, half of which I am following, as indicated:

1. Link to the person who tagged you [check!]
   
2. Post the rules on your blog [check!]
   
3. Write six random things about yourself [no check--nothing is random in the Empire]
   
4. Tag six people at the end of your post and link to them [no check--I always feel like I am imposing, so I will graciously suggest that if you follow this meme you let me know so I can get a sick voyeuristic kick out of reading about your life]
   
5. Let each person know they've been tagged and leave a comment on his or her blog [see above]
   
6. Let the tagger know when your entry is up [check!]
   

And the requested facts:

1. Sometimes, if I'm thinking about nothing at all, I will start thinking about a chimpanzee riding on a Segway.  Now you can think about it, too:
   
   
2. I am a member of Phi Beta Kappa, which pretty much means you have to defer to my opinions as A RECOGNIZED SCHOLAR.  And yes, I have thought about attaching the key to a body piercing.
   
3. I love taking photographs of street art, especially when monsters are involved.  Which leads me to wonder, do skeletons count as monsters?  I'm coming down on "yes," due to early exposure to "Jason and the Argonauts" and "The 7th Voyage of Sinbad."  Here are a few of my pictures (Baron XIII included for scale):





4. Illegitimate Sports are the only sports I care for.  Please to see: lumberjack competitions, the World's Strongest Man, and Ninja Warrior.  I have never been to a live or televised sporting event ever in my entire life, although Women's Beach Volleyball in the Olympics has some things to recommend it.
5. I don't play video games that are more complicated than Brick Breaker and Solitaire.  I figure if I'm going to learn complicated software, there better be a direct financial payoff for me.
6. I'm pretty clueless when it comes to music and I rely on my friends to keep me in the loop.  That having been said, I know I'm late to the party, but I think I'm hopelessly in love with Amanda Palmer.