My mom passed away on Sunday, never waking up after slipping into unconsciousness two weeks prior. I'm very close with my parents, so it was an extraordinarily difficult period of time, but now we're working on healing and enjoying my mom's memories instead of going through what I can only describe as Medical Hell. I'm feeling way, WAY more affectionate than usual and have probably doled out more hugs in the past fourteen days than I have in my entire life up to that point (seriously--I'm a dyed-in-the-wool WASP; a wave from across the room is usually as good as it gets).
I wanted to take a moment to say THANK YOU to everyone who has extended kind emails, Tweets, in-person support, and good thoughts/prayers to me and my family, in many cases without even knowing the extent of the situation. You're wonderful people, and I'm very fortunate to have such a kickass community of pals.
Now, because Tenebrous Mom would in no way abide by people being upset about her, and would far prefer for folks to just get along and be happy, I'll offer up some suggestions of how to honor her memory for those who are so inclined. Hell, I'll even make them Tenebrous Empire Topical!
- Watch "Road House." This was a go-to feel-good flick for Tenebrous Mom, and as such I've probably seen it about ten times. Not that I mind. Sometimes you need a little "I'm gonna rip your throat out" Swayze action. Just remember--be nice until it's time to not be nice. Pls to note that my folks went to see "Road House" *in the movie theatre*, before it became a latter-day camp classic.
- Get a celebrity autograph for your mom (or wife, if you don't have handy access to a mom--or barring that, husband/boyfriend--I'm not picky). I made a point of getting tough-guy actors' autographs reading "To the best mom ever" or somesuch similar sentiment when I went to conventions. Except for when I met Fred Williamson--I couldn't bear to potentially hurt his ego with the whole "my mom is a HUGE fan of yours" thing, so I just pretended *my* name was *her* name and had it made out to Tenebrous Mom that way. Fred Williamson really dug my cleavage, though, and as a result, my mom had one very special autograph that read "To [Her Name]--WOW!!! Love, Fred 'The Hammer.'" Her colleagues were duly impressed, naturally.
- Four words: "Mystery Science Theater 3000." My folks and I spent many an hour bonding while watching this show, and to this day, Peplum films are known as "Shiny Little Heinie Flicks" in deference to the show's riffing during "Hercules vs. the Moon Men." I know that this show is kinda controversial in the cult film world, but if you can't have a laugh at the stuff you love, life is going to get long and kinda terrible.
I'm going to miss the hell out of my mom, and there's no question that my world is a little emptier now that I can't call her up and compare workplace war stories or lament the state of women's fashion or share movie recommendations or whatever. But I'm doing my best to do what she'd want me to do, which is to get on with the business of living my life in the best way I know how.
So yeah--go home and give your families a hug, OK?