Twilight: Wot's... Uh the Deal?
Look--I realize I'm a bitchy old hag and everything, and I'm wicked out of touch with what young folks are into these days, but I STILL don't understand why there's so much venom directed towards the "Twilight" phenomenon. I see "Twilight" to be precisely as threatening to the Vaunted Vampire Tradition as Harlequin romance novels are to my beloved pornography. Simply put--it's different strokes for different folks (if you know what I mean), and if young ladies who are terrified of their stickyparts need some chaste way to pseudo-orgasm that won't anger their Skydaddy, I'm cool with that.
Also, I can't be the only one who realizes that pasty heterosexual boys everywhere should be *celebrating* the rise of the romantic vampire rather than condemning it. Opportunity knocks, and you're too busy kvetching about not getting into Hall H in the San Diego Convention Center. Come on, gentlemen! Toss on some glitter, put your quills to paper, start making dramatic declarations, and SEIZE THE QUIVERING TWIHARDS!
Lady Gaga Goes Macabre for OUT
Oh Gaga--your casket or mine, cupcake? You are so fabulous, and if you have a penis, it's just a happy surprise. *sigh* I love her in all her latter-day Andy Warhol Superstar selfhood. More of Lady Gaga's spread (oo er) here and at OUT's website.
Song of the Moment
Yeah Yeah Yeahs - "Heads Will Roll"
It's got a disco-dancing werewolf in it. Also glamourous decapitation. BONUS!
Teaser: VIVA Magazine
SO! I finally came across a couple of issues of VIVA Magazine, the "sister publication" for PENTHOUSE that was published for a few years during the 1970s. This article from TIME dated September 24, 1973 does quite a nice job of summing up the ladymag. WELL! Because I love you and want you to be happy, I plan on *sharing* the wit, wisdom, and BATSHIT INSANITY of VIVA with you next week. For a week. Because it's a rich vein of feminine krazee that I think the internet NEEDS TO SEE. You can expect to learn about the wonders of fasting, erotic dalliances with the milkman, and a lurid fascination with lion sex. No, really.
16 comments:
This post reminded me: I've been meaning to write you to say that I am totally on board with Lady GaGa now. She's in on the joke, which is pretty brilliant in the face of her massive pop success.
Aww, I'm glad you blogged that Yeah Yeah Yeahs video I sent along a while back! It's a delightfully phantasmagoric mash-up of Michael Jackson and TV's Beauty and the Beast...with bonus glitterblood!
I am also writing in with a sp00ky pop recommendation: Red of Tooth and Claw by Murder by Death. A little bit rockabilly, a big dash of murder ballad...and CELLO!
Jack, I'm SO happy you're warming up to Lady Gaga! Like you say, she's totally aware of her own ridiculousness, and it's refreshing to see a pop star who owns the artifice inherent in that role. Her only "crime" is being embraced by the top-40 crowd--and good on her for making a living doing something she loves and that she's damn good at. And yes--I am IN LOVE with that video, a little more each day. Thanks for bringing the awesome, Professor :) I'm gonna hafta check out your latest recommendation--you are always digging up interesting stuff! *mwah*
Yeah, much of the reaction against Twilight is overdone, especially since it's about the only thing keeping horror relevant in the eyes of the mainstream media now that torture porn is passe. Someone called it "abstinence porn," though I can't remember who. That phrase seems very apt to me (though I only bothered to read the first book and haven't seen the movie). Speaking of the film, Stephen Bissette reviewed it jointly with LET THE RIGHT ONE IN in this month's Video Watchdog, where he argued that they're both "beautifully conceived, crafted and executed horror films in their own right, and that alone is worthy of attention and applause." Go figure!
Re: Twilight, smart teen boys should be all over that. I remember when that Vampire role-playing game came out...the *savvy* boynerds switched from playing D&D to that because they saw that a whole herd of goth chicks were interested in the game.
Rule #1 in courtship and gambling: GO WHERE THE ODDS ARE IN YOUR FAVOR!
I dug up this Murder by Death video to give you a taste:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zt2Sf2-o94g
It's from their newer album, which I don't like as much as the one I recommended, but it will give you a sense of their style. The one I really want you to hear is much more vicious! Neat video though.
Kate, I have a friend who's an oldschool vampire fan, digs the original Nosferatu, Bela, etc., who is also a fan of Twilight and doesn't get the hate. I finally saw the film when he got the DVD. It wasn't my cup of blood but it wasn't a bad movie. I'll probably not read the books but I imagine I'd respond the same way to them. Apart from the idea that Twilight is vampires for chicks, I think part of the problem is with the fact that vampires have become a fantasy genre as much as a horror genre, with vamps in a lot of modern stories playing kinda the same role as elves in fantasy. If there are people who think vampires should only be scary monsters, there's a burden on them to show what bible or book of fact says so. My friend Wendigo digs both the horror and fantasy side of vampires For my part, I'm not into the fantasy aspect; I don't get the drive behind the demand for it. But we're talking about fiction, here, while others treat it like heresy. Errr...absurd?
Kate,
Can we start the backlash against the backlash now? My problem with Twilight doesn't have anything to do with the fanbase, the films, the books, or the defense of the precious vampire legacy of "real" horror. My problem is that it seems to take otherwise brilliant and interesting horror writers and turn them into monotonous idiots who spend their time insulting young girls for not liking the same movies they do. I must admit that there's a lot of crap horror blogs that are pitched at that level to start with, so wallowing in Twi-hate isn't really a downgrade. But still, real writers get caught up in this crap and it's sad.
Headless Horseman,
I think Christine Seifert coined the phrase "abstinence porn" for an article in Bitch magazine.
Headless, you make a good point about keeping horror on the radar of the mainstream. If nothing else, it keeps the financing coming in for supernatural-themed projects, some of which are bound to be interesting, if not downright good. I, for one, am psyched about the Depp/Burton "Dark Shadows" which likely would've been shelved had not Romantic Vampires been a hot commodity. Just sayin'!
Jack, you and Baron XIII seriously need to write a dating guide for narrow, pasty heterosexual men. You'd totally clean up ;)
Absurd indeed, Samuel--I agree with you, sir!
>>My problem is that it seems to take otherwise brilliant and interesting horror writers and turn them into monotonous idiots who spend their time insulting young girls for not liking the same movies they do
Well frikkin' said, CRwM! Can I get an AMEN?!
CRwM here, here. Ms Kate your opening paragraph is lascivious yet wise. I have a underground love for the Yeah Yeah Yeah's that film clip rocks! I look forward to you sharing the salacious tidbits from Viva next week.
www.musingcontinuum.com
Glad to see you discovered the dubious pleasures of Viva. Are you finding it to be a chick mag for gay men like I remember it? I have a vivid memory of a spread featuring "macho hairdressers" which was so homoerotic, even the 11 year old me could figure that one out (and I didn't even know what homoerotic was at the time). 'twould be cool if you could post that this week.
If Lady GaGa has a willy, then she's doing the best tuck job ever for a tranny.
I enjoyed the video even though I'm not familiar with the band (I stopped listening to anything new after Cobain swallowed his shotgun). With respect to Jack's recommendation, the only Murder by Death I can remember was the mystery comedy with Peter Sellers and Truman Capote. This is probably why I'm convinced that the Yeah Yeah Yeahs pinched their keyboardist and drummer from Gary Numan's band.
I know bona fide horror fans who were first introduced to the genre by Scooby Doo cartoons. I am perfectly confident that someday we'll have horror aficionados who will say they first got into it through TWILIGHT.
Oh, by the way, Kate, you make me feel so old and decrepit. I had a girlfriend who read VIVA. I still have a box of issues buried somewhere in the cellar.
Now I'll have to look through my National Lampoon magazines for you. They did a dead-on parody of VIVA. They called it BIVA.
In my defense, I only made one posts explicitly about Twilight, and it was meant to make people laugh. It somehow took upon a life its own, and I kinda sorta hate that. I don't like being associated with Twilight bashing, it cheapens the intent of my blog and makes me seem like a whiny child.
Also, your CD coming soon. I've been busy :(
The BlackFliesInTheGardenSuckedThe AbsintheOutOfMeHeadFromLastNightZone gibbers:
Abstinence Porn* +
Batshit Insanity =
THEE Love Train ;D
*Just sayin'!
Also: Ladee GG is *totally* ripping off someONE else's much. finah. girl. mummy--which *aHEM* is eazy2SHARE unless one falls back on the aforementioned Ab'Porn Perogative...
Also Also: didn't we go through all the TwiHate before w/...
AnneRiceHate?
[Goes back to reading Bataille for *sigh!* 'true romance']
Speaking of "Viva," have you seen Anna Biller's movie of the same name? No horror elements (and it goes a bit long) but she nails the 70s atmosphere, tone and visuals.
http://www.lifeofastar.com/viva.html
Thanks, Ms. Harker! Glad you enjoyed the clip, and hopefully the world of VIVA will prove as gloriously ridiculous to you as it did to me :)
Fred, the article on Cher's makeup secrets gave away the Seekrit Gay Agenda of VIVA!
Pierre, your observation that Twilight is a potential "gateway drug" into the world of other horror entertainment is a wise one. I know *I* didn't spring forth from the womb steeped in sophisticated knowledge--I don't expect that this would be the case with anyone! And I would love-love-LOVE to see the BIVA parody. Although how it could be any wackier than the actuality of VIVA is beyond me ;)
Brad, I wasn't taking the piss out of anyone in particular, believe me :) It's just a trend I've noticed that really reached a head when I read an all-caps Tweet proclaiming that Twilight was DESTROYING HORROR. "Destroying horror?" Reeeeealllllly....? I mean, as genre entertainment, it's kinda designed to be popular and accessible... ;) And thanks for the CD! I will ship yours today (I am equally behind--although I haven't got as good a reason as you've got *argh*).
Joey Zone, I was TOTALLY reminded of some of the haterade directed towards Ms. Rice when I read some of the Twi-bashing. And let us not speak of the "WHAT IS GOTH?!" arguments. Because if we do, I'll begin projectile vomiting. And it's wicked early on a Monday AM for that.
MDG, I did not--until this moment--know that the VIVA movie existed! I absolutely must see this. It sounds entirely relevant to my interests. Thanks for cluing me in!
At last someone who doesn´t get the hate either. Sure, the book was boring, movie terrible, but so what?
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