As the sister publication to PENTHOUSE, VIVA was envisioned as the worldly woman's glossy periodical--an erotically charged magazine that would include celebrity gossip, politics-lite and diet advice next to racy pictorials and sexy fiction. In actuality, VIVA was a hilarious mash-up of OUI and PLAYGIRL, sort of a gay man's magazine masquerading under the polite fiction of being made for women. Either that, or it's a jaw-droppingly evil work of misogyny, designed to indoctrinate unsuspecting women into an unending hell of eating disorders and Social Diseases. Were I of an appropriate age during the years in which VIVA was published, I could see purchasing it for its extraordinary camp value, because--simply put--this is a ladymag that has clearly been guided by men who understand women only through the mirror-world of being a man: "I dig looking at beavers, therefore women dig looking at wieners!" Not so much, sir--not so much.
That's not to say VIVA didn't sometimes get it right. The Erica Jong love poems from the August 1975 issue are beautiful, and the "machisma" fashion shoot (to be shared later this week) made the Tenebrous Heart go pitter-pat. However, the majority of the articles are the same repackaged crud from COSMOPOLITAN cautioning against infidelity under the guise of titillation, running articles on diet trends in the same issue as an editorial on body image (tellingly placed next to a full-page nude photo of a woman's body), and reprinting PENTHOUSE FORUM erotica in a "Sexual Fantasies" column with an expert's interpretation of the ALLEGEDLY TRULY CONFESSED naughty-naughty thoughts.
The VIVA woman isn't all that terribly liberated, but that's all right. She doesn't NEED your stinking liberation, and DAMN all those mean ol' feminists who want to keep her from being objectified! While I agree that it's every woman's right to define her sexuality on her own terms (THAT, cupcakes, is liberation), I take issue with statements like this:
- "Biologically, [being sexy] is one of our more basic survival functions." The author bases this on the famous research in which female apes who were given lipstick an negligees outlived their non-coiffed contemporaries by 20%.
- "The energy boost I get from being openly admired for my looks is a whole lot better than any instant breakfast." That's right--food is overrated, girls! VIVA emphasizes this. A LOT. (More on that later this week)
- On a notorious "sex object's" sexiness: "she listens so well: she literally drinks in a man's words. She makes him feel like he's the most important person in the world--not to mention the most interesting." STFU, ladies. It's HIS world and you're just living in it. A second "case study" is presented to underscore this TRUE FACT.
On that not-real-liberated front, you'd think the VIVA woman would know how to use a vibrator. You'd be wrong.
But it's OK, because she's got this chic zodiac clock! The VIVA woman fucking loves astrology and other forms of lite occultism. Each issue contains a two-page in-depth horoscope detailing the characteristics of HIS sign as well! Because it's really important to know what men want (other than the "you being skinny" and "you shutting up" parts).
All this, and makeup advice from Cher? DARE WE DREAM IT, LADIES?!
Tomorrow: VIVA on dieting.
6 comments:
So, it's basically a women's magazine with Anton LaVey at the editorial helm?
My favorite bit is the blurb about Ari Onassis's "private passions" on the cover. Really, did anyone even want to know about those? Ick.
That vibrator ad is euphemism-tastic! "Oh yeah, Mom, I use that for toning my facial muscles and a relaxing scalp massage. The fact that it's shaped like a dong is just an unfortunate coincidence." Also, couldn't help noticing the "deluxe" model is 1/2 inch longer and 1/4 slimmer than the "economy" model, and costs 3x as much.
"Penetrating Spot Massage," indeed. :P
So who *are* the fastest women in the world, anyway? Can't wait to find out! ;)
I remember VIVA and it's funny just how "daring" the publisher wanted people to think it was.
A good read, this post, and I look forward to the rest. Your pithy comments are apt and funny.
And it is SO unlike anything that would appear on my blog that it's a great change of pace for me to read. Sometimes our blog themes can be a tad confining.
Keep up the good work!
FYI, Kathy Keeton was publisher Bob Guccione's main squeeze at the time (couldn't resist using a 70s expression). She ended up being the plaintiff in a case against Hustler which made it to the Supreme Court, and which I got to read about in law school on the issue of obsenity (Hustler published a fake ad featuring Ms. Keeton and, rather than knee-cap Larry Flynt (which would be kind of a waste of time considering Larry's physical condition), Bobo decided instead to sue him and run up ridiculously huge legal bills -- yup, there is nothing that makes an attorney happier than having a client like Guccione who, rather than listen to your advice, decides to sue the shit out of everyone who moves and allow you to run up legal bills to pay for child's education, home improvements, cars, clothes, vintage copies of Viva, etc.).
As for the "instant breakfast" comment, I think you may be too young to remember the horror that was Carnation Instant Breakfast. Imagine a McDonald's imitation chocolate shake without any of the taste or nutritional value. Yup, this stuff was McNasty!
I'll take the deluxe model 'vibrator' and the nubile young men sandwich to go, thanks Viva!
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Jack, you've pretty much nailed it. And trust me, there are a LOT of passions you really never asked to know about in VIVA. However, it's notably missing erotica in which a woman's vagina is compared to a half-open hot dog bun, so there's that going for it.
Vicar, the FASTEST WOMEN IN THE WORLD are lady race-car drivers! Girls can do *anything* in the liberated 1970s :D
Thanks, Max! I think I have Blog ADD--the only theme I can stick to is "stuff that amuses me" ;) I love any mainstream mags that make their name by being EDGY. It so often just winds up being vaguely gross and quite hilarious indeed!
Fred--That's wild about the Guccione/Hustler lawsuit! I was unaware of this episode in porn history. I recently came by a few vintage Hustlers and--wow--there was definitely a lot of boundary-pushing going on there in terms of Gross Speech. Although I do want the "Time To Fuck" watch advertised on the back page ;) Carnation Instant Breakfast always seemed horribly punitive to me. I mean, sure, astronauts have to eat stuff like that, but I reserve my earth-bound right to subsist on solid food...!
Ms. Harker--are YOU the VIVA Woman...? ;D
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