Every once in a while, I stumble upon something truly magical in the So Bad It's Good format of entertainment. Last time this occurred, I was enchanted by the vision of Tommy Wiseau's "The Room." Well folks, it's happened again. Nothing you've seen in your life--OK, with the possible exception of "The Room"--has prepared you for the genius of singer/songwriter/musician Joshua Michael.
I am in no way bagging on Joshua Michael when I say his music is some of the most bombastic, cheesily-rhymed, supernatural-themed stuff you will ever--EVER--hear. THAT, cupcakes, is an accomplishment that impresses me. Keep in mind that I've attended real vampyyyyre events and have listened to their music. This is at least as incredible in its scope, sincerity, and... erm... misguided aesthetic sense. In case you didn't click on that link above, visit Joshua Michael's MySpace page (in which he talks about his love of Bonnie Tyler, which is a-oh-fucking-kay in my book, baby) and listen to his music. I'll be here when you click back.
Oh yeah--that's right. You just heard a song titled "Vampyre," and his album "Guardian of Secret Dreams" includes a track titled "Dragon." Holy gelatinous cube, friends--I am completely cockslapped with glee right now.
Maybe you're harder to impress than I am, or maybe you've heard a lot more Jim-Steinman-loving, goth-fueled ballads about mythical creatures than I have. Or perhaps you're just a visual sort of person who needs something to look at. Fair enough.
Witness the lonely green-screen...
...and the MAGIC of computer-generated effects!
Good thing, then, that I've saved the best for last, then! I am willing to guarantee that this video of "The Hunger" by Joshua Michael will make you a fan for LIFE. Here's a description of what you're about to see, taken from the video's website (which includes a summary of the video's concept that takes longer to read than the video does to watch):
Many music videos are a collection of rapid fire images. THE HUNGER is a music video with a story. You'll find this story tightly woven into the fabric of the music video... underlying the theme and concept... at the very core of the dream images, the ancient Egyptian scenery, the underworld, and into the afterlife...
Add in some CG effects, an actress with a very fine booty, and a general air of WTF, and you've got a recipe for the best three minutes and forty-seven seconds of your day. Are you ready for... "THE HUNGER...?"
18 comments:
Cockslapped with glee? Did you mean "gobsmacked" or did you just tell us something special about yourself?
I had no idea that they had sports bras back in ancient Egypt!
And as much as goths would likely bag on this dude...sorry guys, but you realize that the Cruxshadows are basically mining the same territory, right?
I...I....
Words fail me.
I've watched this thrice and I cannot shake two important points:
1) The Egyptian God of the Underworld will send your ass to a vampyre club, for no goddamn reason.
2) The theme of this video is basically the artist saying "I suck at girls."
I was having a bad day before "The Hunger" but now I don't think I'll ever have a bad day again.
Holy cheesedick-a-licious! That sounded like a bad Joy Division song. That has to be one of the funniest music videos this side of anything black metal.
The WordsFailButThatHasNeverStoppedMeBefore Zone snorts:
See...if You watch that video and put Thee Empress in the girl's place/Egyptian lack of, shall we say(Yes, we shall) *fabrique* ;D it. all. makes. sense (translation: is palatable)
ESP. where Der Baron runs over Joshua while on his cellphone! ;D
Jack: Of course, i need not tell YE that Tenebrous has it all over, shall we say(Yes, we shall) Lady Gaga in *The GLEE stakes*...
>>Did you mean "gobsmacked" or did you just tell us something special about yourself?
Glee and I have a close relationship, what can I say, Jack? I'm glad I'm not alone in my fascination with this video--it's really made me reconsider my previous staunch "no CGI Egyptian deities stance."
Doc M, I think the word you're looking for is "OMFGAWESOME." Not to put words in your mouth or anything, but that one works for me :)
Adam, "The Hunger" is kinda like Prozac, but without the pesky Black Box warning. It's great that way!
Planet of Terror--I am TOTALLY with you. I love that the video was created in all seriousness. That's just amazing!
Harumph and feh, Joey Zone! I'll have you know that MY Egyptian headdress would be acres more elaborate.
The Can'tBeContriteFastEnuf Zone quikly genuflects & blurts:
NAY NAY! Let there be no doubt to the length mine fealty will extend unto THEE, Empress
*see attachment mailed to Yer personal acct for to share mitt group*
Name-checking Jim Steinman? Meatloaf practically soundtracked my early teen years (of course, my camp counselor played the shit outa Bat Outa Hell, so did I have a chance?). Of course Joshua Michael and all his overly-earnest ilk would be cockslapped (back to CBT are we?) to know that Steinman had his tongue firmly in cheek. "There ain't no Coup D'Ville lying on the bottom of a Cracker Jack box." Just throw in some dancing Cleopatras and we'll take it to Broadway!
Kate, this is the greatest thing I've seen online since, "It's The Great Dolemite, Charlie Brown" about 24 hours ago. I reel in awe.
Fred, I grew up on Meat Loaf! My mom was a HUGE fan, and "Paradise by the Dashboard Light" is one of my karaoke staples. Steinman's humor is so evident in those songs--taking that element away just makes it... well, it makes it a lot like Joshua Michael, really ;)
OMFG SAM! That video is amazing. Here's a link for the rest of you folks so you can check it out over at Rev. Phantom's blog:
http://www.reverendphantom.com/2009/10/its-great-dolemite-charlie-brown.html
Hang on a second.
Kate, did you really drop and Dungeons and Dragons reference in there?
Always thrilling, never filling...I think Josh is hoping to get picked up for a light beer endorsement!
I kept thinking watching this vid that he couldn't possibly be serious...I mean, he's obviously got a budget for the video, couldn't he afford some session musicians to translate his Casio-track into something more substantial? But still, the earnestness of it all is affecting. That doesn't stop me laughing, though.
However, I *do* want to know more about that actress. :)
Always thrilling, never filling...I think Josh is hoping to get picked up for a light beer endorsement!
I kept thinking watching this vid that he couldn't possibly be serious...I mean, he's obviously got a budget for the video, couldn't he afford some session musicians to translate his Casio-track into something more substantial? But still, the earnestness of it all is affecting. That doesn't stop me laughing, though.
However, I *do* want to know more about that actress. :)
Yes, Bryan--that was TOTALLY a D&D ref! I'm still making up for lost time at having been refused entry into D&D gaming cliques as a Tenebrous Tot. My geekiness was only strengthened as a result of this exclusion!
Vicar, it's the laughter borne of love, and not contempt. You and I both know there's a difference! Your mention of the actress makes me realize that I can probably use my sexy mummies tag on this post. Quel oversight!
"The Tommy Wiseau of Goth"
Indeed. But it's, like, really half-hearted goth. Goth on a budget. Hell - goth on NO budget. It is a thing of utter beauty. I have to second Jack's observation about the ancient Egyptian sports bras. Someone spent a lot of time, love and stretch fabric needles sewing that gold trim on.
As great as the video is (and it's very great), let's not overlook the album art, where Joshua appears to have a dong of mystic flame.
Costuminatrix, I'm glad to've brought darque-flavored glee into your life. Yay :)
Anon, that album cover is further evidence towards my "no use of Photoshop without a license" argument!
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