Halloween poses some serious challenges in the Tenebrous Empire. Having two or three costume parties to attend means needing two or three costumes, and being Year-Round Spooky means that such holiday chestnuts as vampire, witch and punk-rocker are out of the running.*
*Even if it does amuse me to almost-no-end to see legions of revelers costumed as Saturday Night Tenebrous Kate on October 31st.
As a woman, so I like to keep things a little saucy, and I won't lie and say I don't get just a little inspiration from the Sexy Fill-In-The-Blank costumes sold at Halloween superstores. But I think these costumes are getting a little ridiculous. I mean--come the fuck ON--sexy Ghostbuster? Really...? I mean, if you're into en-hot-pants-ed Dan Ackroyds, I'm not going to piss in your already-hella-bizarre Cheerios, but that's just cinematically inaccurate (at best).
But my sexy costumes are always kinda evil--from demoniacal nun to voodoo cemetery spirit to fascist zombie to lab-created monster, I tend to draw from the darker sides of infotainment. ** Maybe it's time to get creative and bring sexy back to the positive figures from history.
**Holy crap--my spell checker knows the word "infotainment." Ew. At least "staycation" still gets a red underline.
In that spirit, I think that SEXY ABE LINCOLN is an idea whose time has come. Much like the sexy stage magician or the sexy ringmaster, SEXY ABE LINCOLN wears a jaunty top-hat. Unlike the sexy stage magician or the sexy ringmaster, SEXY ABE LINCOLN was responsible for the unification of the United States in the aftermath of the Civil War. Pull THAT outta your hat, sexy stage magician.
If you'd prefer a more exotic sexy costume, perhaps SEXY GANDHI is your speed. Historical accuracy be damned--diapers aren't sexy.*** Togas, on the other hand, are flirty as all hell, and also easy to find at your local costume shop. Add in a bald cap and some wire-rimmed glasses--hunger strike optional--and you're well on your way to a costume that's both sexy and socially conscious.
***Unless you're part of a certain Special Needs contingent, kinda like the one that's into the en-hot-pants-ed Dan Ackroyds.
I know you folks have some good ideas for sexy-yet-non-evil costumes! I dare you to do better than the actually-f'reals Sexy Environmentalist costume.
Edit to Add: I almost forgot another sexy costume I'd developed--the PANTSLESS GRIMACE. It's not particularly socially conscious, but it's not really evil either:
Little did I know, upon creating this concept sketch, that the Pantsless Grimace costume ACTUALLY EXISTS! Check it out here, and note that it comes with a costume top and boot covers. NO PANTS, people.