When I was about fifteen years old, I dubbed "Troll 2" the worst movie I'd ever seen, due in part to the quality of the film and in part to the fact that my brother liked it. At the time, I couldn't fathom why anyone would deliberately subject him- or herself to ninety minutes of barely comprehensible junk that blends the horrors of the "Gremlins" franchise with the aesthetics of a peyote trip (read: hallucinations accompanied by profuse vomiting).
Little did I know that over a decade later, thanks to the internet and the limitless capacity for crap exhibited by a certain brand of college student, "Troll 2" would become an official contender for the title of "Worst Movie Ever."
After watching the movie last night for the first time in almost 2 decades, I fully understand why someone would deliberately subject him- or herself to this kind of movie. Because--man alive!--"Troll 2" is a glorious disaster. It displays a level of insanity approached only by such nigh-upon-Dada-ist cinematic works as "The Room;" a level of insanity that seems like it could only be deliberate in its flaunting of such traditional movie elements as "story," "acting," and "special effects." This surpasses the level of junktasticness (junktasticity?) one generally finds in Italian rip-off films by several country miles.
Oh yeah--and Laura "Black Emanuelle" Gemser is listed as the costume designer.
This is your brain on "Troll 2"
Assuming that you guys have seen "Troll 2" (and if you haven't seen it and you happen to be in the US, head over to Hulu and dial up this bad boy ASAP!) I've got a few questions:
- Who [the FUCK] was the intended audience for this movie? I always found the above-mentioned "Gremlins" films to be too squicky and too teen-ey for any human to enjoy, and yet people do in fact enjoy these movies. So what the hell do I know? But still--"Troll 2," WHO ARE YOU FOR?! Your ghoulish meditations on death, your cannibal orgies, your childlike fairy tale plot... it's too much for me to comprehend.
- Director Claudio Fragasso--girl-child body building fetishist, or garden variety creep?
- How big are the goblins-that-are-never-called-trolls? I keep hoping they're midgets, but I suspect they're actually normal-sized people.
- On what planet does green cream look appetizing?
My head is spinning over here. I'm not going to bother writing a proper review--many folks have gotten there before me. I'll give you links to other reviews instead:
10 comments:
I am a huge fan of all things Troll 2! About a year ago, i wrote Something about the movie and I talked up the Best worst doc that was coming out, but still, it is not out on DVD. I can't believe you saw Troll 2 20 years ago...you might be a Goddess in some circles!
The intended audience for "Troll 2" was pretty much the audience for Full Moon horror films and similar low rent horror. I originally watched it on Cinemax back in the mid-90s because I was expecting a cheap horror flick I could watch while drinking cheap beer and grading papers.
http://oductionproductions.blogspot.com/2010/01/bad-movies.html
I mention it in my bad movie list.
The first time I saw this movie, I spent a week acting like Creedence Leonore Gielgud (of Ancient Druidic Origin) until death threats made by close friends persuaded me to stop.
Troll 2, while astonisingly terrible, is a lot of fun. I recommend it to anyone looking for a good laugh. Some of the stuff in it is absolutely classic.
That sounds so disastrous that I will have to watch it next time the wife is in a "Law & Order SVU Marathon" (cHrist, that's like every freakin' day!).
Okey smokes--I'm gonna have to update my post to include the rest of these great musings on "Troll 2!"
Matt, I just wish I ENJOYED "Troll 2" when I saw it on cable. Much as this pains me, I've got to admit that Tenebrous Brother was way ahead of the coolness curve here. It's a feather in his proverbial cap!
Dreaded, I loved the Creedence Leonore Gielgud character. She reminds me of some people I've met...! I also dug her ever-changing makeup and hair-do. Continuity has no place in the world of "Troll 2," and I love it.
Haha! I saw this as a kid, mainly because I used to watch the original "Troll" movie over and over... I only remember that it starred the guy who was the main hunter in Willow. :P Part 2, Troll 2, was NOTHING like the original movie if I can recall correctly.
Troll 2 is amazing for so many reasons, but I always cite it as the only(?) horror film which casts vegetarians as the bad guys. Between that and the whole rustic evil thing and championing of city life ("You'll like our city! It's noisy and a little smoggy, but it has all the modern conveniences!" And, yes, I can quote pretty much the whole movie.), it's almost like a bizarro satire of Whole Foods culture. And (sorry, but) Popcorn Creedence is roller-rink hot!
Fab blog, btw!
"Troll 2" is the undisputed current royalty of midnight movies, although "the Room" and, even more recently, "Birdemic" seem to be giving it a run for its money. Glad you picked up on the Laura Gemser credit, she has indeed apparently gone into the costume design business "full time (-ish) since stepping away from the front of the camera. Who ever thought "Emanuelle In America" would turn out tobe only the second-most notrious project she was involved wit?
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