Night Angel [1990]

Many movie-watchers react with surprise that there are thirteen installments in the "Witchcraft" franchise, a direct-to-video mainstay of VHS rental outlets during the 1990s. How many stories are there to tell about big-haired, heavily-eye-shadowed witches who be sexin'? More baffling still is the profusion of other, not-"Witchcraft"-affiliated movies that are cast from the same mold. Sitting at the crossroads between slasher flicks and Skinemax softcore, these movies efficiently delivered boobs and blood to adolescents and adolescents-at-heart. Today, they're best appreciated for the way they evoke nostalgic "don't let Mom know I've snuck into the den to watch titty movies" frissons.

All of this backstory explains why I was so surprised with the delight I experienced while watching "Night Angel," a 1990 movie about... well, a big-haired, heavily-eye-shadowed witch who be sexin'.  BUT! If there's one thing we've learned about genre movies, it's that they're all the same except for the things that make them slightly, ethereally different from one another.

Let's discuss!

SIREN is a wildly popular fashion magazine, a fact we know because we are told as much and which flies in the face of its appearance as a black-and-white SKIN TWO knock-off. The magazine is largely staffed by horny young heterosexual men (just like all wildly popular fashion magazines, aber natürlich), with the exception of lesbian editrix Rita (Karen Black) and a handful of, you know, office assistants and secretaries (girls are so cute when they pretend to work!). Unfortunately for our jolly crew of couture-hawking morons, a recently-resurrected demoness named Lilith sets her sights on spreading her evil gospel of sexy evil through the vehicle of modeling. Photographer Craig (played by Linden Ashby who some of you might recognize as Johnny Cage from the first "Mortal Kombat" flick) senses something is amiss after his colleagues turn up dead and Lilith assumes increasing control over SIREN's staff. It becomes apparent that it's up to Craig, his New-Age galpal Kirstie, and a cringingly-poorly scripted African-American hoodoo worker to stop Lilith from unleashing a new world order of darkness (and boobs, and sex).

"We need to talk about all the beige, Craig." 

"Night Angel" is a remarkably efficient nudity and sex delivery vehicle--the viewer is granted the first glimpse of full-frontal nudity before the five-minute marker. There's no attempt made to convince the viewer that this is anything BUT a remarkably efficient nudity and sex delivery vehicle, in fact. Lilith's method of gaining power over humans is to seduce them--men and women alike--into steamy sexual interludes. Actress Isa Jank sighs, moans and grinds her way through a series of conquests, many of which end with the grisly extraction of the seducee's heart through his ribcage (if you're into that, y'know--hey, no judgments). To the undiscerning, these may be erotic indeed, but I kept being distracted by leaps of logic (easily explained away with MAGIC!) like... how did that hotel lobby remain free of people, including employees, for the duration of the tryst? Why didn't that dude's wife wake up while he was banging a demoness in his marital bed? I suppose I'm the kind of person who concerns herself with niceties of reality when boobs are onscreen, which says depressing things about me.

Ladies and gentlemen, meet the Tastemakers of SIREN Magazine.

Perhaps the most fascinating screen presence in the film comes in the form of the fashions sported by the allegedly-sophisticated alleged-aesthetes that populate the story. Outfits seem chosen at random from a stage magician's costume trunk. In one scene, berets seem to be de rigueur, sported by each character from editor to receptionist to photographer. Characters in outsize blazers in all the colors of the rainbow poke fun of a woman in some sort of haute couture outfit, even though they're supposed to be on the cutting edge of style. Is this script-writing ineptitude or a sly commentary on the mercurial nature of the fashion industry?*

*SPOILER: It's more than likely ineptitude.

The effects work is pretty rubbery and entertaining throughout, with a decent amount of gore and some nifty demon transformations. In a movie that banks so much of its thrill-dollar on sex scenes, it's nice to see some attention paid to the "horror" elements.

Oh yeah, and then this happens.

In the manner of many softcore thrillers of this period, cheesy late-80s pop infuses every scene, giving the impression that these years were characterized by wall-to-wall synthesized horn sections pumping out of unseen boom boxes. The movie's central track, a rock number titled "Siren's Burning," is belted by a familiar-sounding baritone voice that I kept thinking sounded just like Screamin' Jay Hawkins. But how would Screamin' Jay come to be involved in a softcore horror flick?  The answer is a resounding YES--that distinctive vocalist on the "Night Angel" soundtrack does indeed come from Saint Screamin' of Jay, providing a beautiful bow on the gift that is this film.

I feel like I've learned some lessons from "Night Angel" (other than the obvious "do not fuck the devil-woman" thing). Treasure can lie in unexpected places, including early 90s/late 80s softcore. Rubbery demons are joy. Screamin' Jay Hawkins will totally sing your movie's theme song, because he has a jillion kids to feed. In short, thank you "Night Angel" for being a part of my life--you were a great way to spend 90 minutes.

Check out more images from "Night Angel" in the Flickr set.